aDriAn's & yEn's pReCioUs SoN - cAdeN TeO: May 2010

Mother's Day

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Its mother's day today. I am woken up by my little precious. He was so energetic when he woke up. Insisting that his papa to play to him. Then deardear and Caden went out of the room. After a while, they came back with a card and a small sheep. Caden presented to me and said Happy Mother's Day. Guess its taught by his papa... Silly cheeky little boy.

Actually deardear planned to bring us out for lunch. I am so tired and was very angry with him that he brought Caden to pray Kwan Yin only. Later they will packet lunch back for me as I am resting at home now. What a way to celebrate my mother's day this year.

Caden is scared of me...

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Woke up at 8 plus and brought Caden to Doc Ong. He is down with flu and sore throat. Doc also said that he might be stressed as he kept crying non stop and did not have good sleep. Doc gave him 2 days MC on mon and tues. I did not tell Caden but I feel its a good break from him.

Deardear packeted pizza back for lunch as its a celebration of our monthiversary. Since Caden is not feeling too well, I do not want him to be outside and be exposed to all the germs and viruses.

In the evening while I was feeding Caden, he insisted to watch television show. I remembered my dad scolding us for allowing him to watch tv show while eating and thus causing him to be very restless during eating time in school as there is no tv show to be watched. So I insisted no and threatened to take the cane. Then he said: ma ma always beat caden. Then I asked him again if that is true, he nodded his head and I asked if I am fierce and he said yes. Finally I asked if he is scared of him, he said yes as I am fierce. I am so sad. I always beat him because he is naughty and he seems to take it that I am just fierce thus beat him. Of course, comparing with his papa, I am always the disciplinarian. Deardear always leave the scolding and beating to me. He only plays with Caden. I am so sad. Caden never remembers who will wakes up almost every hour to check on him in the middle of the night when he is sick,who is the one to plan for his mealtime, medicine time and fruits time, who thinks of him all the time. I am even willing to give up my job for him. Sigh... But I know he is telling the truth as I am always the one scolding and beating him. Just that he did not know the 苦心. Its really not easy to be a mother...

5th Day at Childcare

Friday, May 7, 2010

Today, its my turn to bring him to school. Once he woke up in the morning, he started to cry and say that he does not want to go school. It seems to be some fear and phobia. He kept crying and refused to eat any breakfast. Even xiao yi po wanted to bring him downstairs to 7-11, he also refused. He kept clinging onto me and cry. I am really puzzled as deardear said that he has improved yesterday and when we asked if he wanna to go school on the next day, he said ok.

Anyway, my mum managed to pacify him while I was bathing. After all the preparation, we went to school. On the way there, he seems ok. Once we stepped into the school, he kept saying he does not want to stay there and wanted to go home. Then he heard his classmates crying and he started all the wailing.

When Ms Xiao Qi arrived, she carried him over from me and brought him upstairs to play with cooking set. Seems like he likes the cooking set on the second level. I did not follow initially. However, I checked on him by sneaking upstairs and hid at the staircase. He was still calling for me and sobbing. But I feel that he seems better than previous. The second time I sneaked upstairs, he seems to be communicating with Ms Xiao Qi about the cooking procedure. Then I waited for a while more outside the school and left at 9.30am to see a doc, as I was sneezing for the past 2 days. I spent all the remaining time at Mac doing my marking. I called Ms Xiao Qi twice to check on him. Seems like he still cry on and off but is getting better.

At 12.15pm, I went to the school to pick him up. He was so happy and excited to see me. He was so eager to go home that he did not even want to carry his bag. Then Tita and I took a cab back home.

When deardear arrived home at 6plus, he asked Caden about his school, Caden just kept quiet. He seems to be very withdrawn when we talk about school. He refused to tell us anything that happened in school and gone all quiet. I am very worried about him.

In the late evening, I had a discussion with my mum regarding taking care of Caden. I presented 3 options - get another maid, I will work 1/2 load of teaching or she will quit her job to take care of him. I do not want my mum to be stressed and feel that she has to quit her job. There are other options. She insisted as she is also very heartbroken to see Caden like that. She feels that she can take better care of him than anyone and indeed who is better than my mum. So she has decided to submit her resignation letter tomorrow.

Update on day 4

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Caden us much happier now. Seems like he is getting on fine with other friends and teachers. Good.

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4th day in school

It's 9.12 now. It's caden's 4th day in school. It's papa's turn to bring him to school. Caden still refuses to play with his mates. And choose to sit at the playground. When it's time for papa to go, he became to cry aggressively. He don't want papa to go. He want to find mama. Keep holding tight to papa for his little dear life. No matter how much sweet words is injected into his ears. He still refuse to listen. Crying and crying, this went on for 10 to 15 mins. No choice, papa has to really be tough. Papa left Caden to miss xiao qi and left. Cannot look back cannot go back to him. Very very tough. Caden is screaming at the top of his voice. He never ever cry like this. Sorry son, papa has to do this. Papa love you.

10 mins has passed.
Have not heard Caden cry. He was calling out to papa and mama just now. But everything seems fine now. Hopefully all will be fine from now. I will give up any of me for it to happen.

God bless

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Location:Beach Rd,City,Singapore

2nd Day at Childcare

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Today, I went to school in the morning and attended 2 lessons and then rushed down to the school to check on Caden as I heard that he cried very terribly again in the morning after my mum left for work.

When I arrived at the childcare, I saw Tita sitting near him while he was playing with his friends. I heard from Tita that she has to be there then he will stop crying. Once she leave, he will start to cry non stop again. I was so heartbroken. Looking at him, I really wonder if I have made the wrong choice... Is work more impt? Should I just do half load of teaching so I can still arrange for him to attend half day of childcare instead of whole day?

I tried to leave him alone but once he saw that I am not around, he will start to cry and shout for me. The teachers tried to distract him. However, there are too many kids, they cannot put all their attention on him. So sometimes, he is left crying on his own.. I am so sad... But I know in order for him to get used to it fast, I need to be cruel. So I hide from him for a while. Then my dad came by to check on him. He seems to be better. He did not really cry for help, probably its because its lunchtime. The greedy Caden is always happy when there is food. After lunch, he took his bath and played around for a while.

At 12 plus, deardear also come by as he has taken half day off. Then we fetched Caden back home. Silly boy was so happy upon seeing all of us and kept talking non stop. So different from the crying baby in the childcare centre. What to do next? Thinking of buying something for him to bring to the school to eat so as to motivate him.

First day at Childcare

Monday, May 3, 2010

Its Caden's first day at Cherie Hearts at Purvis St... Deardear and I are on leave so we companied him to school today... When we arrived at 8.50am, there are lots of kids having breakfast... It looks a little messy as kids from PG1 to K2 assembled at the common area to sing national athem and songs..Although Caden has eaten, he was also given a bowl of oats.. He seems to enjoy it and fed himself. He is so smart... He looks taller than some of the kids and more mature too. However, he seems to be a loner. Refused to join other kids in the singing of songs and playing of games. He just went to a corner to play on his own. Teachers tried to encourage him to join the rest of them. He tried for a while then went into the corner again.When the actual session started at 9.30am, Caden was asked to join the PG1 for drawing and playing of toys. When deardear and I saw that he joined them, we left the centre to leave him alone... We told him that we are going to work... However, he looked so down... Never see him like that before as if he has some burden. He tried to act strong and carried on playing on his own. I was so worried and even told the teacher to call me if he cries... I cried when I left the centre...At 11 plus, I told deardear to go back and check on him. We saw that his both eyes are swollen and nose is red. According to teacher, he has cried for the past 15 min. Seems like he suddenly thought of us and couldn't find us so he cried. Seems like he has cried terribly thus causing the swollen eyes and red nose. I was so heartbroken...When he saw us, he was so happy.. But when the teacher said that he cried just now as he misses us, he suddenly broke into tears and cried. I was so heartbroken.. How can I just leave him there? Did I make the right choice... Is it a cruel choice? I saw that there are many kids crying at diff time of the day. Is it a norm there? He seems to feel very left alone there. I dun wan him to feel that we dun care about him thus leaving him there. After a while, he recovered and started to talk and laugh again. Because we were there... Poor Caden...Then we left him there again and told him we will be back in an hour's time after his bath... He said ok.. Deardear and I went to a nearby coffee shop and I immediately texted my boss about taking childcare leave tomolo as I am still very worried. When we went back at 12.30pm, we saw that he was crying. According to teacher, he refused to take his bath. He do not want his teachers to bathe him. I had to coax him and he started to cry again.. Seems that he kept crying today.. More than he has ever cried in a month. I am really heartbroken... Have to see him like that and coax him into bathing as I am worried if I let him off this time, he will just refused to bathe forever. Finally, he gave in and bathed. After his bath, we packed him bag and brought him home. He was so happy and bide everyone goodbye.. It seems to be his happiest moment then. He started his usual happy mood from then on. It seems to be a relieve for him. He seldom laugh and smile when he stepped into the centre.. That is not Caden and I do not want him to be like that. How?

just woken up from sleep
watching television